Slice of Scots life offers us no crumbs of comfort
by Mick Dennis.
Scottish football has been riven in twain by the terrible tale of the Aberdeen toaster. Gordon Bennett, the chief
executive of Aberdeen FC, emerged from a fraught spell spent scrutinising the club's finances to declare that there
would have to be immediate economies.
From now on, he announced, the players would have to pay for all their coffees and teas and, to save electricity,
the club toaster would be removed from the players' lounge
This parsimony has divided the nation. In one camp stand those like Neil MacDougall, secretary of the Aberdeen
Supporters Association, who says it is a small-minded, bawbee- pinching approach which will drive good players
away and scare off possible replacements. Like Private Fraser of Dad's Army, he says, in effect: " We're doomed."
But many Scots are rallying around Bennett's flag. They say that footballers are paid far too much and it is high
time that their perks were cut. Those in this canny camp are dancing a jig because Bennett is teaching spendthrift
footballers the value of prudence.
Certainly Bennett is continuing a proud Aberdonian tradition. The Granite City still speaks fondly of a former
chairman of the football club, one Dick Donald, who tried to introduce wage cuts after spotting the wife of a first-team
player wearing a fur coat.
From an English perspective, of course, it is gratifying when something like this toaster pops up to reinforce
our view of the Scots.
How reassuringly quaint that they should seek respite from the cruel winds by huddling around to take tea and toast
after training. And how typical of the average (should that be mean?) laird that Bennett should begrudge them a
few free joules.
But, unfortunately for those of us with prejudices, Bennett is not Scottish. He's English. There may be some celtic
blood in him, because he's from the West Country, but he's definitely English.
And I think that the tale of the toaster may provide a useful warning to those of us getting ready, after Euro
2000, for the bread-and-butter issues of the new domestic season.
Bennett went to Aberdeen from Norwich, the club dearest to my own heart, where his name was particularly appropriate.
The directors used to say to him: "We owe how much to the bank? Gordon Bennett!"
He had his critics at Norwich; those who pointed out that he was part of a regime which, under the chairmanship
of Robert Chase, took Norwich from the San Siro to Stockport in two seasons.
Part of the reason for that catastrophic slide was a reluctance to spend money on players.
So those in Scotland who are raising a toast to Bennett should be warned. He may take Aberdeen to the breadline.